I didn't really react the way I expected myself to. I didn't cry, I didn't feel emotionally burdened or disjointed.. I just felt.. empty. Almost numb to the whole thing.

I knew Steffen back in 6th grade. He was one of the cool kids, and I - as you might have guessed - was not. He played percussion which made him that much cooler, and he acted, which made him desireable by all the girls. Including me. I was akward, stubborn, geeky, quirky, and anything but eyepleasing. I don't know how it came about that I had a crush on Steffen.. maybe watcing him from afar I saw something in him that I wanted to see in myself. Some cliche crap like that makes sense.

Anyways, my good friend at the time, Libby, acted with him in some shows, and insisted I audition for 'Guys and Dolls' because Steffen was for sure going to get a part... and It was a chance for me to spend more time with him. Bless Libby's heart, she knew I didn't stand a chance, but tried to make me feel better none the less. So, I bit the bullet and did it. I sang Yankee Doodle Dandy in 3 different keys and got myself a 'lil part. I was Bubbles, a Hot Box dancer, and I believe my lines were "Ok, Adalade" and ".. and me with Tony the Greek." w00t.

There were two casts, and as forturne has it, I didn't end up in his. But it did give me a chance to have my eyes glued to him without anyone suspecting anything. I remember in his closing night, one of his lines was "I ain't no stool piegon!" But, being a young kid, he took a dare and changed it to "I ain't no stool sample!" The theatre didn't quiet down for 3 minutes or so.

Steffen was the reason I got into theatre in the first place. My main goal was to be closer to this guy I had a crush on, but I ended up finding my calling.. even if I did only have the chance to say a line or two.

I miss you, old friend. May you rest in peace.


Steffen Erik Ryge
January 8, 1988 - August 14th, 2006